Read At Your Own Risk

the perks of being accepted

2004-11-21T22:16:00.000-08:00

i've been experiencing this happiness for the past few months but i never thought of writing it here. and finally, in the midst of a boring shift, supposedly a toxic duty but because of the bad weather (thanks be to rain!), we have less number of phonecalls from our clients. instead of wondering how blissful it is to become in love during dead hours, why not try to write it here? so here i am with my long introduction and im trying to figure out what am i gonna inscribe next.
okay, i came from a long pause because suddenly, a dozen of calls made me busy. where were we? ah.. it's about the happiness i forgot to share here.
1. my mother knows "it"
2. she doesnt get angry
3. she's willing to meet "her"
4. she lets me sleep over "her" place

sino bang hindi sasaya dyan? yun na.

So Low

2004-09-09T01:06:00.000-07:00

This is me… I’m not ok.
I don’t know how to fix my own life. Very sad.
I feel that I’m living my life… without purpose.
I’m turning 24 and still feel unfulfilled.
When will I start to grow up?
No one can help me but myself.
It’s a matter of knowing priorities.
It’s a matter of balancing the aspects in my life.
I should start now… before it’s too late.

Fallen
Sarah Mclachlan

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
THe past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning and
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Oh How I Love It...

2004-09-04T15:13:00.000-07:00

while im leaning to the chair, the melody swings with my hair. the scent of the notes linger in the air. it smells good. so relaxing. it's like watching the sunset by the sea. how peaceful.

each word touches the veins of my heart. perfectly defining what's within. the fast beat says im happy. the slow one makes me lean more on the chair and close my eyes so that i can put myself in the paradise. i am safe. i am free.

harmony wipes away all the fears i have. reminds me of my childhood days. worry-free days.

i imagine life without music. so dark. so dull.

thanks to the sweet sound...

o how i love it...
...love hearing the music...

Talking Prose for a Dose

2004-08-30T09:49:00.000-07:00

How did you get me?
I was caught unaware! I wasn’t looking for somebody. I was contented with my friends.

I blame you for this tickling experience. I charge you for putting smile on my face. I accuse you for making my heartbeat faster. I hold you accountable for sending shivers on my spine.

How did you get me?
I was caught unaware! I thought that single life would be excellent. I thought that being unattached could do better.

Now, I surrender myself to you. I give up all of the things that are holding me back from loving you. Admit defeat, I bestow my adoration. I humbly submit my eternity to you.

How did you get me?
At this point, I am aware…
You got me the time I saw stars…
You got me instantly when I heard the melody…
You got me the moment I knew the real you...

Just a thought...

2004-08-22T09:22:00.000-07:00

it's right. love don't come easy. that's what phil collins is telling us in his song "you cant hurry love". and i always hear this line from my friend, jan. but this don't bother me before... until it came to me. however, i wont get tired of waiting for love to come. i know that even the reason i cried before was love, it's still love that will make me smile again.

hmm, why do i often caught myself smiling alone these days? well, maybe, the love is coming to me now. =)

Do I know you?

2004-08-21T11:36:00.000-07:00

i believe that there are some things in our better half that only us can see. No matter how people insists that they know the person inside out, i'll shot my ten cents to prove them that they are wrong.

this is such a sleepy saturday. i woke up so early and i have to be in the office by 10am. it's ninoy aquino's day... definitely, a double-pay holiday =) it's my kuya ed's birthday. but none of those made this day a special one for me. i've been so screwed for the past few weeks. bad break-up, scary starting overs, the betrayal of friends.. whew! but those were swept away by this happiness im feeling right now. what feeling can overcome the joys of being in love? yeah, same old, same old... just an ordinary story... for YOU! but this is a whole new feeling for me.

i fell in love with this person wherein from the start, all eyebrows are raising, all rumors are spreading, all comments and objections are flying in the air. i'm scared. but what the heck! knowing myself, i love making my life fussy. im interested with risks. and god! I AM IN LOVE! that's the most important reason, isn't it? and so the story goes...

along the way of our relationship, all the negative notes i heard from my friends about my partner that made me real scared are all appeared to be the opposite. things i heard are way far different from what i've seen. and what do you expect from people around you? again, the raising of eyebrows...and worse, they betrayed me when i least expect it. at first, it really hurts... but now, who cares?! anyway my other friend told me that i should trust my instincts.

today, i woke up early with a big smile on my face. knowing that this person proved that even the most devil creature has good sides too =) but oh.. im not saying that my partner is such a demon. hahaha dont get me wrong. i love her for who she is. im happy... very happy...